How to understand negotiation better!?

Situation A

Your contacts want you to come for a late business meeting. Nevertheless you very well know that you have family dinner, the wife parents are coming, and they will be offended because you are not home. The dinner is several weeks ahead planed, but from other side the business contacts have come from Hong Kong and they are staying just one night. This business meeting is very important, and it could be mile stone to your career.

Situation B

You went to a nearby mall with your children, and after several hours of shopping, children came across to new version of video game. The cost of the CD was around 30 euros, but unfortunately you do not have enough cash left, and you did not bring your credit card. Children want CD, it was promised to them as gift, and stocks our out, only few are left.

What would you do in these situations?

There is no one answer to resolve different situations. There could even be several solutions for one situation. It al depends from persons involved, critical time, ext.

The answer to all the above questions lies in a simple word “Negotiation”. You negotiate so that you achieve whatever you want without the fear of conflicts or misunderstandings. It is a peaceful way of accomplishing things without making anyone angry.

We all will agree that nobody has ever gained anything out of conflicts and disagreements. Disputes in turn increase our stress and we feel restless always. One loses focus and eventually his interest in the organization goes down. It is always wise to discuss among yourselves and reach to an alternative best suited to all through negotiations.

What is negotiation?

Negotiation is a technique of discussing issues among one selves and reaching to a conclusion benefiting all involved in the discussion. It is one of the most effective ways to avoid conflicts and tensions. When individuals do not agree with each other, they sit together, discuss issues on an open forum, negotiate with each other and come to an alternative which satisfies all. In a layman’s language it is also termed as bargaining.  Negotiation needs to accomplish compromise, but compromise is newer WIN-WIN situation for both sides. One side will achieved what primarily wants, but with transformation of what he wants but essential is to give the other side a compromise. This compromise must be presented as an offering to the other side where the other party gets the impression that he got more than he wanted in the beginning.

Your boss asks you to submit a report within two working days and you know that the report is a little critical one and needs more time. Will you say a yes to your boss just to please him? Your yes might make the boss happy then but later you will land yourself in big trouble if you fail to submit it within the desired time frame. It’s always better to negotiate with your boss rather than accepting something which you know is difficult. Ask for some more time from your boss or probably don’t make an exhaustive report. Negotiation is better as it would prevent spoiling your relation with your superiors later.


An individual representing an organization or a position that listens to all the parties carefully and comes to a conclusion which is willingly acceptable to all is called the negotiator

Skills of a negotiator:

  •  A negotiator ideally should be impartial and neutral and should not favor any one.
  • He needs to understand the situation and the parties well and decide something which will benefit all.
  • A negotiator has to be a little tactful and smart enough to handle all situations and reach to a conclusion.

It is not always that people will easily accept the negotiator’s decision; they may counter it if they feel their personal interests are not satisfied. In such a situation, where the negotiator is left with no choice, he must use his power to impose his ideas on all, after all one can’t please everyone.

Elements of Negotiation:  Negotiation =Process + Behavior + Substance (Agenda)

  • Process- The way individuals negotiate with each other is called the process of negotiation. The process includes the various techniques and strategies employed to negotiate and reach to a solution.
  • Behavior- How two parties behave with each other during the process of negotiation is referred to as behavior. The way they interact with each other, the way they communicate with each other to make their points clear all come under behavior.
  • Substance- There has to be an agenda on which individuals negotiate. A topic is important for negotiation. In the first situation, going for the late night movie was the agenda on which you wanted to negotiate with your parents as well as your friends.


To conclude, negotiation is simply a technique, a discussion among individuals to reach to a mutual agreement where everyone gains something or the other and conflicts are avoided. To learn how good negotiator is needs time, it is hard to learn this from books. Some people have innate skills for negotiation, others do not. Never the les majority of people can become good negotiator, it is important to do some basic research on human psychology, because humans are using patterns for various situations. Those patterns are just frame work, to establish whit what tape of person are you negotiate. Even when someone very close to you is, you can be surprised by actions that you have not seen before that person. It is important to step out from your so called „mind maps“and aproach to nagotiation with element of suprise for diferent person. Some time it is good to accept all thta other side is requesting if this is just smaler paert of bigger picture.

In army doctrine, give some theritory to enemy  that whay  his confidence will grown, but give without fight. Then he will think that you are afraid, if you give with fight his moral will grow, and that is not good. Give him theritory that is hard to defend, therotory that will drag him from actual strategic points.






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